Reflections on Beijing
With a lot of change comes a lot of reflection. At least this is true for me now. Anyone who knows me well enough knows that Beijing has been a tough place for me to live. It's not to say I haven't met some wonderful people during my time here or that it has been all bad. Indeed, it is the special friendships I have made that made it all bearable. Some places light up your soul, but unfortunatetly, this is not that place for me.
As I look back on my time here, I can see that I was always destined to experience part of my life journey here. In parallel with coping with the challenges of living here I have also done a lot of learning and growing. For this I can only ever be grateful. As I move through this transition in to the next chapter of our life I wanted to share some of the things I have learned (and am still learning) along the way (in no particular order):
There is more than one way of doing things or thinking about something, so it is important to keep an open mind.
People will surprise you.
We should stop caring so much about what other people think of us, because in truth, most people are usually only thinking of themselves.
Some people can be real assholes.
Usually when someone is an asshole it is because they are insecure or in pain, but it is not your duty to endure those issues with them or for them.
It is not nice to be stared at.
Self-nurturing activities are extremely important; even more so when you have children (even though it is harder to find the time). You cannot give to others what you don't also give to yourself, at least not in a genuine way.
Twins are hard work, but also a gift of pure joy. It may surprise some people to know that my kids have helped keep me sane amongst the everyday craziness of this place. They remind me of the magic of life.
Sometimes we have to do hard things, but things will get better and easier.
99% of the time we worry for nothing.
Staying connected to family and friends on a regular basis no matter the distance is very important to me. I could not thrive without their love and support.
You cannot hold a single person accountable for the whole of their country's problems.
I hate spitting more than ever.
It seems the older you get, the harder it is to make deep connections with others. When you find good people, keep them close and let them know they are appreciated.
We all need to find our tribe - the people with whom we can be vulnerable and authentic without fear of judgment or shame.
There is definitely such a thing as too many bikes!
Personal boundaries are healthy and totally necessary.
Mother guilt is totally a thing.
The answers you are seeking are already within you. Trust yourself more.
You can find joy in any moment, even on the toughest of days if you are open to it.
I am stronger and more resilient than I ever thought possible.
When you accept your reality for what it is, suddenly you will start to notice life getting easier.
Hate less, forgive often and love more.
Let it go!
This too shall pass (wise words from my mother).
See you all on the other side of the Great Firewall of China!